Tuesday, August 12, 2008

So much time....

A lot of time has passed since I last logged on here. Actually a lot of time has passed since I did anything on the net bar check in on the regular blogs I read. So I guess I need to add some updates as to previous posts.

Citizen M: M just actually left us a few weeks ago. Things went very well with M for the longest time but as we got to know her better we realized she was very delayed both educationally and emotionally...we worked hard with her on the educational side, sending her to sylvan, working closely with the school and on homework....the emotional part became very much a drain on me though. Her sister (younger) moved in with us in April. At first we thought this would be great, not so I'm afraid. M regressed tremendously after her sister joined us. I guess we didn't realize she was happy here and M2 disturbed that equilibrium and she was back to feeling she had to cater to and take care of her little sister.
M2 started of very pleasant, full of energy and life. It didn't take long to see how she was only concerned with her little universe and Keeva was a major threat to her. We really felt we could work with her but she increasingly became argumentative with us which, is one thing. It was the fact that she became a big bully to Keeva sometimes hitting and tormenting her that we could not allow to continue so we decided in June it had to come to an end. The one good thing is though that during their stay I got to know the old foster family they lived with whom they had been very happy with. Anytime we saw them together they seemed extremely relaxed and childlike...unlike the little rap star M2 was trying to be since moving to the city. I was able to push the issue that they could go back there as a long term solution as permanency not adoption was more a priority in their case now.
It felt really bad to let them go, like we had failed them after all they were just innocent children who life had dealt a bad hand. All reports though are that they are now very happy.

Joe's Mom: She has been settled in a nice nursing home now for a few months. They did attempt to send her home once but it only lasted two days before she fell and was unable to be picked up. After all she can't walk and weighs 180lbs at 4'9". We couldn't understand why they had sent her home...not being able to walk meant she couldn't use the bathroom, wash, make food and her husband has COPD with emphysema, and weighs 95lbs wet. How did they ever think they would manage. So they took her back with no more objections, we think she realized her quality of life was better in the home so she stopped fighting to go home. We tried for a long time to get my father in law to join her but it's not the kind of place he likes to be. He likes his privacy and can be argumentative at the best of times. Well he ended up in the ER a couple of weeks ago and when my sister in law told them the last time she went to his apartment he was lying in a soiled bed not having eaten on a few days so...he was sent to the home to. He seemed to settle in okay but has begun to fight or I think let go would be more apt. He has stopped eating and is deteriorating fast. Joe just called to say he got a call saying that pop had turned his oxygen off. I think he fought the past year to keep going because he felt he had to take care of Mama but now he sees she is well taken care of he feels he can let go. I don't think he will last much longer in some ways I hope in his suffering he doesn't as hard to admit as that is. I guess it's just a waiting game.

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