Last night was spent at our local emergency clinic where Keeva's flu which seemed to be very mild, except for the up and down fever, since Sunday had flarred up. She was now stuffed up, with tummy pains, totally lethargic, a heart that was in her words "beating by itself" and a temp of 103.8. Thankfully we were seen immediately and given Tamiflu and sent on our jolly way. When we got home she seemed a little more lively. Then an hour later she began throwing up and I got the fright of my life when I saw bright blood falling from her into the toilet bowl as she wretched, thank godness it was just a bad nosebleed. She flaked out after that and her temp began to soar again. I gave her Motrin and we went to bed where we cuddled with my hand placed on her chest so I would feel any change in her breathing. All I could feel was an insanely strong heart beat.....when I took my hand away I could still feeel it on my hand. Horrible thoughts started to fill my head. Eventually I drifted off. When I woke a few hours later I was very happy to find , for the first time since Sunday that her little body no longer felt like a furnance. It was normal...no fever. She has just now gotten up from bed and she is a little groggy but much more like our Keeva, no fever, no shivers, just a runny nose and she doesn't want to take her medicine....a sure sign she is feeling better as the past few days no matter what she was offered she gladly took it to try to relieve the feelings she was having. Hello Tamiflu - goodbye flu!

Pulling my hair out....

Did I not ask that the Universe move on....I believe I did. Maybe I didn't ask loud enough.....UNIVERSE MOVE ON......my 5 year old washing machine has broke, my hairdryer has broke, Dillon who has been an amazing sleeper ( thanks to Hayley ) is now a terror at night and to top it off Keeva, despite having gotten her vaccine three weeks ago now has the swine flu and I'm missing our annual outing tonight to the beaujolais festival in support of Keevas school

I have decided that as of this coming Monday things will be different.....I will no longer feel stressed, Keeva will be better (that is of course priority number 1), my house will be an example of pure organization and there will be no more crisis. The power of positive thinking is being put into over drive. I will be calm and smile if I have to pin up my cheeks. Oh and all ideas and encouragment for organization and control are very much more than welcome!

Where is my life??

I don't seem to have anytime these days and I'm just utterly exhausted. I still haven't uploaded any photos from my camera so posting here has not happened. I do check in with my favorite gals, hayley, Kris, Lisa, Carrie etc, in the morning while everyone is still asleep and I have a few moments alone with my cuppa tea to just be.

I feel like I have no time for anything, no time to really clean house, no time to bake, no time (forgive me for this) to spend time doing fun things with the kids. My time is spent chasing finances, paying bills, responding to crisis that always involves delving into finances again...I need to get off this rollercoaster and just live. My dreams of being an involved Mam of spending hours crafting and baking with my daughter of rolling on the floor with my son are passing...time I will never recapture.

My poor husband is working every hour God sends but it's still not enough. I wish the universe would move on....we've had enough, we need time to breath.

Time to get up and start again...maybe today something will break in our favor!

Things we did this summer......

(and I can't believe it nearly Christmas!!)

The first thing we did this past summer was to fly to Ireland after Keeva had finished her last day of school with Nana. We rented a beautiful house close to my Uncles outside a little fishing village and close to the beach. The gardens where great for the kids to run around in. There was even a "secret, lucky garden" as Keeva called it - an area of trees and shrubs that you could pass into into and it had a tree growing in the center surrounded by a bed of shamrock. It had a truely magical feel to it and I could see stories of fairies growing from such a great place. I would have had so much fun there as a child.

It was great to see all the family: the children back home have all grown so big and the new babies are too cute. It was nice to see the family growing. Keeva really enjoyed seeing her cousins. As she doesn't have any young cousins here in the States it's a big deal for her to see her cousins. She talks about them all the time. I did try to convince my grandmother to bring one of them over on a visit for Keeva but no such luck.

The best part though was enjoying the beautiful weather while Joe (sorry hon) was stuck here in the rain that seemed to fall endlessly for most of the summer this year. When the weather is nice in Ireland it really is beautiful.....sunny, blue skies with no humidity....just heaven. Although I think I realized that I have been gone from there so long now and with Mam and Dad here now it's not really home anymore. It was a sad realization but I've been gone thirteen years and a lot has changed.



Keeva's fear of the water really disappeared over the summer thanks to all her friends Moms who took her on playdates to the beach. By the end of the summer she was wading out waist high.....I was so proud of her! Dillon loved the water too and surprisingly the sand. He love to stand holding your hands and bounce up and down just low enough for his butt to slap the top of the water...what fun!



What else did we do?? Not much I guess...hmm thinking about it I guess it was a pretty boring summer all round. We did rent a house for a week on Cape Cod at the end of August. Poor Joe hadn't been away since May of last year so I thought the Cape was a good choice. He could take a day or two off work, still go to work a couple of days during the week and enjoy the beach in the evening. It was a great week. The house was fabulous and the best part was it was within walking distance of a little inlet that provided hours of entertainment for Keeva. There were no waves which meant her developing love of water was able to really take hold. The best part though for her was that when the tide went out the water disappeared over a lot of the area and all sorts of creatures could be found. At one stage she had collected so many hermit crabs in her bucket that they made a huge racket (noise) climbing over eachother and banging off the side of the bucket. We also found baby jelly fish, minnows, a HUGE horse shoe crab, snails and shells of all shapes and sizes. Being on the Cape was great too because we were not too far from home and some friends visited on different days which was really great. Our neighbors came for and night spent a night with us. Keeva's best friend Zoe and her family came for an evening picnic on the beach. Unfortunately the little inlet beach was closed that night so we had to go to the main beach where the waves where much bigger. Keeva really didn't like this but the Putzai kids didn't seem in the least bit bothered. Bless Brigittes nerves....they made me grateful for Keevas fear! Another day we Had Keeva's friend Elizabeth visit with her Mom and brother. They had a lovely time fishing and exploring. Unfortunately I had burned to a crisp the day before so had to stay covered under the beach tent which meant I couldn't take part in much of the fun but watching my beautiful girl, with the glow of summer on her skin and the smile of childhood on her face was just as good. She really is growing into a beautiful little girl.

(Photos will follow)