Last night was spent at our local emergency clinic where Keeva's flu which seemed to be very mild, except for the up and down fever, since Sunday had flarred up. She was now stuffed up, with tummy pains, totally lethargic, a heart that was in her words "beating by itself" and a temp of 103.8. Thankfully we were seen immediately and given Tamiflu and sent on our jolly way. When we got home she seemed a little more lively. Then an hour later she began throwing up and I got the fright of my life when I saw bright blood falling from her into the toilet bowl as she wretched, thank godness it was just a bad nosebleed. She flaked out after that and her temp began to soar again. I gave her Motrin and we went to bed where we cuddled with my hand placed on her chest so I would feel any change in her breathing. All I could feel was an insanely strong heart beat.....when I took my hand away I could still feeel it on my hand. Horrible thoughts started to fill my head. Eventually I drifted off. When I woke a few hours later I was very happy to find , for the first time since Sunday that her little body no longer felt like a furnance. It was normal...no fever. She has just now gotten up from bed and she is a little groggy but much more like our Keeva, no fever, no shivers, just a runny nose and she doesn't want to take her medicine....a sure sign she is feeling better as the past few days no matter what she was offered she gladly took it to try to relieve the feelings she was having. Hello Tamiflu - goodbye flu!

Pulling my hair out....

Did I not ask that the Universe move on....I believe I did. Maybe I didn't ask loud enough.....UNIVERSE MOVE ON......my 5 year old washing machine has broke, my hairdryer has broke, Dillon who has been an amazing sleeper ( thanks to Hayley ) is now a terror at night and to top it off Keeva, despite having gotten her vaccine three weeks ago now has the swine flu and I'm missing our annual outing tonight to the beaujolais festival in support of Keevas school

I have decided that as of this coming Monday things will be different.....I will no longer feel stressed, Keeva will be better (that is of course priority number 1), my house will be an example of pure organization and there will be no more crisis. The power of positive thinking is being put into over drive. I will be calm and smile if I have to pin up my cheeks. Oh and all ideas and encouragment for organization and control are very much more than welcome!

Where is my life??

I don't seem to have anytime these days and I'm just utterly exhausted. I still haven't uploaded any photos from my camera so posting here has not happened. I do check in with my favorite gals, hayley, Kris, Lisa, Carrie etc, in the morning while everyone is still asleep and I have a few moments alone with my cuppa tea to just be.

I feel like I have no time for anything, no time to really clean house, no time to bake, no time (forgive me for this) to spend time doing fun things with the kids. My time is spent chasing finances, paying bills, responding to crisis that always involves delving into finances again...I need to get off this rollercoaster and just live. My dreams of being an involved Mam of spending hours crafting and baking with my daughter of rolling on the floor with my son are passing...time I will never recapture.

My poor husband is working every hour God sends but it's still not enough. I wish the universe would move on....we've had enough, we need time to breath.

Time to get up and start again...maybe today something will break in our favor!

Things we did this summer......

(and I can't believe it nearly Christmas!!)

The first thing we did this past summer was to fly to Ireland after Keeva had finished her last day of school with Nana. We rented a beautiful house close to my Uncles outside a little fishing village and close to the beach. The gardens where great for the kids to run around in. There was even a "secret, lucky garden" as Keeva called it - an area of trees and shrubs that you could pass into into and it had a tree growing in the center surrounded by a bed of shamrock. It had a truely magical feel to it and I could see stories of fairies growing from such a great place. I would have had so much fun there as a child.

It was great to see all the family: the children back home have all grown so big and the new babies are too cute. It was nice to see the family growing. Keeva really enjoyed seeing her cousins. As she doesn't have any young cousins here in the States it's a big deal for her to see her cousins. She talks about them all the time. I did try to convince my grandmother to bring one of them over on a visit for Keeva but no such luck.

The best part though was enjoying the beautiful weather while Joe (sorry hon) was stuck here in the rain that seemed to fall endlessly for most of the summer this year. When the weather is nice in Ireland it really is beautiful.....sunny, blue skies with no humidity....just heaven. Although I think I realized that I have been gone from there so long now and with Mam and Dad here now it's not really home anymore. It was a sad realization but I've been gone thirteen years and a lot has changed.



Keeva's fear of the water really disappeared over the summer thanks to all her friends Moms who took her on playdates to the beach. By the end of the summer she was wading out waist high.....I was so proud of her! Dillon loved the water too and surprisingly the sand. He love to stand holding your hands and bounce up and down just low enough for his butt to slap the top of the water...what fun!



What else did we do?? Not much I guess...hmm thinking about it I guess it was a pretty boring summer all round. We did rent a house for a week on Cape Cod at the end of August. Poor Joe hadn't been away since May of last year so I thought the Cape was a good choice. He could take a day or two off work, still go to work a couple of days during the week and enjoy the beach in the evening. It was a great week. The house was fabulous and the best part was it was within walking distance of a little inlet that provided hours of entertainment for Keeva. There were no waves which meant her developing love of water was able to really take hold. The best part though for her was that when the tide went out the water disappeared over a lot of the area and all sorts of creatures could be found. At one stage she had collected so many hermit crabs in her bucket that they made a huge racket (noise) climbing over eachother and banging off the side of the bucket. We also found baby jelly fish, minnows, a HUGE horse shoe crab, snails and shells of all shapes and sizes. Being on the Cape was great too because we were not too far from home and some friends visited on different days which was really great. Our neighbors came for and night spent a night with us. Keeva's best friend Zoe and her family came for an evening picnic on the beach. Unfortunately the little inlet beach was closed that night so we had to go to the main beach where the waves where much bigger. Keeva really didn't like this but the Putzai kids didn't seem in the least bit bothered. Bless Brigittes nerves....they made me grateful for Keevas fear! Another day we Had Keeva's friend Elizabeth visit with her Mom and brother. They had a lovely time fishing and exploring. Unfortunately I had burned to a crisp the day before so had to stay covered under the beach tent which meant I couldn't take part in much of the fun but watching my beautiful girl, with the glow of summer on her skin and the smile of childhood on her face was just as good. She really is growing into a beautiful little girl.

(Photos will follow)

Oh my .....

has time flown by. Things have been busy busy busy. Back to school happened, pretty smoothly even if K's best friend was moved to a different class. We had a delicious evening back yard get together at one of her friends homes the week before "La rentree" which really helped smooth the transition from summer vacation to school days.

Of course we had a business crises which comsummed my every waking moment for a week or so but thankfully it got sorted out just in time for our big vacation and when I say just in time I mean the day before!! Still we were able to head off with a calm feeling that everything was okay.

I did manage to lose all but 7lbs of my goal weight which I had set 5lbs higher than I really wanted, (have to aim high) so I guess I was within 2lbs of my true goal. Of course after all the yummy foods I retraced some steps there but it was worth it!!

The boy is growing fast......he's crawling at warp speed, pulling himself up on anything he can grab onto and making the funniest noises. He keeps it real that time is moving on....

Stay tunned for updates and photos of all the fun over the past while.

She Boogies!!



I never thought I would see this day....the Keeva bean boogie boarding. She is so afraid of water or at least was anytime I went with her.........but then she went to the beach on July 4th and again last Saturday with friends from school. The parents had told me she went in the water but was nicely cautious about it. Then yesterday we visited some friends and went to the beach. Henri took his Boogie boards with him and off she went. Catching waves, rolling around, falling over. I never felt so happy as I did watching her, hearing her run up and yell "hey Henri, come on, lets go surfing again"......that happy in fact I didn't get any pictures of Dillons first time at the beach. Oh my he is suffering from the second child thing. For me this is huge, I have a terrible fear and dislike of water and have missed out on so much fun over the years. I'm so excited to see that she is beginning to let go and will not be afraid to join in the fun!! You go girl.

I will have a beach body - Day 7

OMG.....I lost 1.4lbs overnight!!!!

I will have a beach body - Day 6

I woke up this mornign 6oz lighter...yippee. Due to the itchy, fat foot no workout but we did take a long walk to the college near our house to visit the farmers market. good excuse to get some exercise, buy veggies for my new healthy eating and support the local economy. Of course walking with nature loving Keeva,it wasn't a high speed burn fat walk but it was up hill so that made up for it. I must be doing something right though the numbers on the scales are getting lower!!
The best news is though Joe has decided to join me.....not in losing weight but in getting fit and healthy. He has joined the gym at work (real nice proogram) and I made the decision to go back on a eating plan that we both have used in the passed. It not a diet as such it's an eating plan. It's something I wanted to do since having surgery after Dillon was born as the surgeon saw some crazy things inside and told me I really needed to do something to keep my digestive system moving or I could have major problems down the road. It was hard to do though when you still have to cook regular for the other half. It's called fit for life and was a craze in the early 90's. Joe with an ex-girlfriend followed the plan and when I met him he always talked about it. Any photos I've seen of him then show him glowing with health and, Michelle (his ex girlfriend) looked and always has looked fabulous. I tried it in 2002 for health reasons and I never felt better: my eyes shone, my skin glowed and my energy level was huge. You don't have to cut out any foods it's essentially just about how you combine your food. You eat fruit first in the morning, don't eat anything for 30 mins after eaing fruit (so that it can get digested properly and move through your system) then don't mix proteins and starchy carbohydtrates. Quite simple really. So as Joe put we we are having a "Mid Life Renaissance"
We started today. I had fruit for breakfast. A fruit snack. Salad with egg for lunch. Pastry snack and Lemon Dill Flounder, with garlic brocolli for dinner and a bowl of rainier cherries for desert later in the evening.
It felt really good to have made this decision together. I just hope we can stick it out and make some real changes for health and happiness.

Look who’s come to live at our house….

Yes it’s the Green Eyed Monster. He, or I should say she, came to visit once or twice over the last few weeks but has as of last Thursday has definitely moved in and decided to stay for a while. We had our first friend come to stay over night. The excitement level was high full of fun but then O started seeming to come down with a cold….stuffy nose, cough, slight fever then itchy eyes. Of course I wanted to help the little one feel better which was okay at thestart but then a normally peaceful sleeping Dillon woke up screaming and wouldn’t stop. Bed time came for the girls and O seemed to be getting worse, fever remained level. By this time Dillon has started spitting up badly and Keeva was beginning to feel ‘unloved’ as I tried to comfort a little girl who’s parent where at a concert and tried to calm a screaming, orange colored baby. Then it turned into hard wrenching crying about how I didn’t love her anytime I touched either O or Dillon. Keeva didn’t want me to comfort anybody else. By this stage it was clear O was having an allergic reaction to something….the swelling eyes were kind of a clue. I was getting very concerned as she does have peanut allergies but I knew she she hadn’t gotten near any nuts. None of this mattered to Keeva as two hours after bedtime started she was in the corner in my room curled behind the laundry hamper wailing about how no one loved her, not Maamy, Daddy, the Dogs Nana…..just possibly Gaga (Grandfather) who plays computer games with her. O was doing her best in her state to convince her that she did love her but she had decided she wanted to go home…..couldn’t blame her what with Keevas behaviour…..Keeva couldn’t see this and continued to escalate even more now that O wanted to go home. So, parents were called and the first ’sleepover’ ended. That was the night the monster moved in. Since then I have not been allowed to comfort Dillon, hug him, ssh him. It even gotten to the point where if I pick him up and he smiles at Keeva at the same time she says “look he is trying to make me jealous”……no explaining, comforting, playing special moments seem to help. I can’t wait for this guest to leave. Lets hope she doesn’t decide to stay too long …..

I will have a beach body - Day 5

Wow is it Day 5 already.....
As you can see from my ticker I already lost 1.2lbs!!! They say the mind over matter thing is very powerful. I should say so, woke up Saturday morning and had already lost 1.2lbs just by deciding to! Not bad eh... Well I have gotten no workouts in, eating better but no workouts. Saturday, Dillon napped for only two very short naps so, with prepping for Keeva's backyard movie night party and Dillon not sleeping nothing was accomplished. Then before that on Friday evening I got bit on the foot by one of our lovely summer time flying pests, the Mosquito, and by bedtime Saturday night my usual allergic reaction was kicking in..... by Sunday afternoon my ability to even stand on what was by then a football sized foot was very limited. It's only today that it seems to be going back to normal and I am able to walk without the feeling that it might burst open under the pressure.
Well even without workouts I have been eating better, not dieting persay but, controling portions and cutting out snacking and sweet stuff and believe it or not my magical 1.2lbs has stayed off. I will have to wait another few days for my foot to fully heal before I can begin excercising but hopefully then I will see some more pounds begin to come off.

I will have a beach body - Day 1

So today is officially day one but being that I had already laid out the menu for the day and I (saying this is like quitting before I start) didn't have time to work out. Honestly I didn't. It was noon before I put my mind to this and then I had to get Dillon up from his nap, feed him, pick Keeva and her friend up from camp, drop her friend home. Go to the audio visual store to pick up the projector and screen for tomorrow nights back yard movie. Then come home feed Dillon, make dinner, get the kids ready for bed. Then I was starving and I refuse to work out after eating as you only burn what you just ate. Anyway that's my excuses for today.......here's what I did do. I'm only listing the noon onward today as that was my starting point..

Lunch: 2 cups spring greens, 1 tsp balsamic dressing, 1 tblsp blue cheese
1 cup panzanella salad (bread salad(minimal bread)), 20oz water
Snack: Coffee & one small (1.5" tall 1/2 thinck) slice homemade banana bread
Dinner: Linguine with zuchinni and pancetta
1/2 slice Italian bread, 20 oz water
Snack: Activia yogurt, 1/2 cup grapes, 20 oz water

Tomorrow Keeva is spending the day with a school friend at the beach...thank you Vazira! This should free me up more for a workout. I do have a party to plan for so I will have to start early and plan my day out well........

She's growing up

For the school year 2005/06 we had the pleasure of a having Pauline, a beautiful, in both person and looks, Brazilian exchange student come to live with us. She was just 15 going on 16 and full of excitement and fear. In no time at all Pauline became a member of our family.....Keeva's big sister and our Brazilian daughter. Many times people did just assume she was Keevas sister and I can still see the big smile it would bring to her face. She truely loved Keeva and still does. We enjoyed many laughs and held her as she shed many tears afraid she wouldn't make her year away from her family. Of course she did. Now she is 19 going on 20 and attending medical school - actually doing rounds in a hospital as a student!! She just sent us this picture of her with her Mom. I can't believe how she is changing, looking older, growing up.
Pauline has come back to visit us once and she is coming back in December to spend another Christmas with us and to be the Godmother for Dillon. We couldn't pick a nicer, more loving person to stand for our son. We were lucky to have choosen Pauline and lucky that she wanted to stay.


Now we just have to get Giulia to come back to visit and to send us a photo (you hear me Giulia). Giulia was our third exchange student from Italy. Poor Giulia started her trip to America in a badly matched house...a girl from Milan sent to hilbilly country in a house with no heat. She was so scared. I remember meeting her coming out of her bedroom the first morning after she came to us. She was amazed to see houses again and so happy to feel warm. We had decided after a bad experience not to take another student but when we got the call about Giulia we couldn't say no. As Joe said "we have to rescue her". The next five months were spent lost in conversation and the love of food wine and cheese....someday she'll come back too and we can explore more delicious foods.
We hope someday to get both girls together for a vacation so they can get to know each other. Get to know the person each has heard so much about. For us I think it will feel like having our whole family together for a while. We have been very lucky....who knows maybe someday we'll do it again......

No, not Vacation!!!!

We are going on vacation in 10 weeks. Doesn't my husband realize I just had a baby. Yes this means happiness, memories to cherish.....joy beyond description. And, big flabby belly, larger rear end, thunder thighs and wings that came from - I have no idea. I know where the belly came from, obviously, my butt, yeah I can see that. The thighs I can only blame on the fact that I sat down for the last three months of my pregnancy and following the surgery after Dillon was born but the huge upper arms I've gained I have no clue, none, nada.
Now I have a timeline in which I need to tone and firm up. I refuse to be seen next to a pool or near a beach unless of course it's in Arabia wrapped in a Burka. So I am starting today and to keep me accountable I am going to keep an online diary of what I am doing. I've also added a ticker to the sidebar to show my progress. I want to loose 18lbs....thats almost 2lbs a week to reach my goal before vacation. It's a lofty goal but I figure set it high and I might get somewhere.
I give you all permission to keep me on my toes. get out those whips because I have no self discipline!

The sun may be shinning here today but I'd still rather be in Aix-en-Provence. The New York Times today has a fabulous article that has just transported me to th eSouth of France.....oh those were the days........

Oooooh.....I could just eat you up....

Beautiful Girl

I love you too.......

Bento 10

We've made a few Bentos recently. I haven't gotten photos of everyone of them but here is number 10. Keeva is really enjoyedthis one...

Mashed potato flowers with pea centers, chicken pieces, cheese hearts, grapes, strawberry slices and carrots. If you can believe it she actually ate the carrots. You could have picked me up of the floor I was so shocked!

Early but munching

Recently the kids and I took a trip to Ireland. In the airport on the way out I got some not so delicious airport food. While I was eating it I had Dillon sitting on my lap. He was lunging toward my plate and then sat string at it with his hands clasped...seriously looked as if he was begging for some. A few day later he grabbed a chunk of bread out of my hand and tried to put it in his mouth and after that he grabbed a candy bar...Crunchie, I can't blame him and started sucking on it. This combined with and increased night time wakening despite nursing plenty prompted me to try and give him some solid food. So we got him some stage 1 Apples to try. Try I didn't need to he basically inhaled the whole thing...boy can this kid eat.

Patiently waiting in his seat...can you believe he can sit there so well!!

Here we go first bite...notice he is not wearing a bib....brave Mammy!!

Here we go first bit......

Reaction....not too bad

All done and remember he wasn't wearing a bib....not a drop spit back out...I told you this kid could eat.

Life Lately....

will it ever end. A glimmer of sun then more of this!